i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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