you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
17 year olds will be the death of me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
