Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
