you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
