Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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