Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well I just put wine in my tea
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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