Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
