I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My ass is underappreciated
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
