1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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