I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
