sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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