she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
