Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
you made out with another girl for some wings
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
