We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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