I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
