i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
