The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
