now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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