Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
