I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
