I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Randomize
