You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
