I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
