Whod you bang
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
