And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
