Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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