It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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