you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
