he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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