Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
