apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
