I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
