Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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