I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
