Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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