i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
