i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
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