worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
