And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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