he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
