Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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