Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
