4 words: hood of his car
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
