Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
