Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
should my penis look like a turkey
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My dick has a subreddit
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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