you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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