Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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