perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
