Just cropdusted the office
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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