Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
