he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Can I color on your dick again?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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