Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
is it fun? or sober?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
